Ever since then I’ve lived with the shame and fear of being recognised in the street by someone who’s seen the video online. She deserves someone ...etter than that.”Keegan, what did you want to tell Deann?Keegan turns to face Deann, holding both of her hands. Deann looks at the younger woman with love and tears in her eyes. “Deann. I never want you to think you’re not good enough for me, or that you’re not special, or worse than anyone else. I’ve never been bothered by what you did back then,. “Coño,” she said, an expletive regarded as minor even if it literally means cunt, with that n that has a y sound attached: conyo. It still surprises me when women use it, but Lita, like so many, clearly didn't think it was noteworthy. To them it just equates to shit or bollocks or even damn. Just a harmless interjection.“Okay, let's go through the basics,” I suggested. “The alphabet. Go on.”“A b c d e, shit I am not a child,” she protested in English.“ Coño,” I said. “What does that mean?”“Not. "He's bullshiting," says Carla. "It's a lie." Come on Carla," I say. "You're the one who wants to suck my cock. Andtrust me, I want it sucked. I'm horny as fuck and need a blow job in theworst way." I don't believe you," she says. She standing right next to me, lookingdown at me. I want to reach out and pull her into me. I want to grab herass, suck her tits. My cock is straining to get out of the thing, tryingto get hard."You know, I heard that a guy doesn't need to get hard to cum,". ‘Just like that?’ I followed him in to the living room and toward the front door. ‘For you, Christina,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘I’m only doing it for you.’ with that he opened the door, walked through, and then closed it ever so gently. But the slight click the door made in closing thundered through my nervous system like the clashing of cymbals. I went cold and numb. As usual in tense situations, my emotions immediately receded, allowing my intelligence all the room it needed to make quick.
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